OLYMPICS 2012: THE BS OF ALL BS's

I was so excited for the Olympics. . .I still am enjoying the games but the bullshit behind it all is making me VERY ANGRY! Let's Start with the good, PHELPS- The Human Fish! Oh man what a feat, how amazing is he!? So excited that he represents America!! WHOOT! Gabby Douglas- WOW what a little (as someone else wrote) Firecracker. Her adorable smile, high flying ability and class for such a youngster. Ahh Missy Franklin, such a doll. Such an inspiration, such a humble young lady. I could have only wished to be so strong like she at her age. Ryan Lochte, ha cutest douche to ever grace swimming! He's adorable, sweet, a goofball with a chill personality that I adore oh and he swims great too!!! Serena Williams- WOW what a feat! And in Tennis, a sport I now nothing about nor care to. But still a feat!! NOW of course those are just a few USA names who blew the Olympics and many records out the water but CONGRATS TO EVERY SINGLE WINNER BE IT FROM USA OR NOT!! I admire the dedication to want something so bad and to go for it and get it! BRAVO Now on to the BULLSHIT!! The media world if full of it and I despise this new world of media. I do not respect not one online paper or news source anymore. I treat it like hearsay, all of it, even the weather!! Here we have Michael "FISH" Phelps, he came to Olympics with the mindset of finishing his last races with a bang and boy did he. Then you have those twittered folks and so on talking about how he is greedy! GREEDY for striving to be the best? For practicing to to be the best? for going out into the waters which many cannot do and being the best? GREEDY. . . ponder that one for a minute. . . . OK. . .enough said. . .those who thought that were and are simply stupid people who have no accomplishments of their own nor knows what it feels like to accomplish anything you worked hard for. I do, not a medal, ha not ever but I do know what it feels like to put my mind to something, work hard at it and accomplish it. . it feels pretty damn good so I know Phishy Phelps is feeling 22 extra pretty damn goods. Gabby Douglas. . UGH I dislike ignorant ass women, men people and the likes who sat up behind their laptops or what have you and tweeted about this little girls hair! WTF! I even had someone say "her momma should not have let her go looking like that?" (obviously she doesn't watch the Olympics & know where the parents are vs the Olympians. . but it's ok she was trying to seem In-The-Know) Not only that she stated that as an African American woman WE HAVE to go out looking flawless with our hair *skeeeeeet* Pump the breaks (yes I did just go way back) did she say WE HAVE TO? chick please, My hair is my hair and nothing more and so is Gabby's. The only thing I HAVE to do is maintain my sanity, work, make my money and take care of son, those are my HAVE to's. She said she noticed her hair too which makes me sad to see so many superficial people in the world. The first thing I noticed about Gabby was her legs. The way she moved was remnant (very loosely remnant) of Mary Lou Retton. . with ease and control (for her age) so it's bothers my SOUL that women looked down on this young girl for her hair! Here we have a 16yr old (regardless of ethnicity) who could be pregnant (like those god awful idiots on those teen pregnancy shows and or elsewhere), doing drugs, having sex, skipping school, stealing, having a juve record as long as some of these ratchett snatches weaves but instead. . you hear me INSTEAD she is a decorated. .let me repeat DECORATED OLYMPIAN! HA how many of you quick weaved, sewed-in, 27 pieced up ratchett rats can say the same about yourselves? HMMP? Don't worry, I'll wait. .(yea in my Katt Williams voice) The sad part is, the hatred (and folks this is when the word HATE really has an effect here. Real actual HATE, self hate to be exact) is from our very own African American women! WOW we have come so far to gain respect from others to only lose that respect within ourselves. Those who have anything to say about Gabby's hair have nothing to be proud of within themselves. They are probably the types who wear colored contact lens (blue, FOH) or long Blonde weave when you share the skin-shade of a Wesley Snipes relative or those who are so self-centered, so self-absorbed that they don't think they are good enough because of their damn hair or clothing, etc. All I can say is Bravo ignorant bitches, Bravo! I applaud you and your weave, your perm and your perfect two strand twists (so as not to leave anyone out) behind your computer. . .I do. enough about that because I can go on. . . Ryan Lochte- oh come on. Sure he is EASY. .seriously EASY like getting Olympic poon to make fun of but still he is a great swimmer. He is no Phelps but who said he was? Oh wait, the media! Not living up to the hype eh. . well stop putting the hype out there. People are making fun of him for wearing his Grill. Oh my great Paul Wall grills of heaven it's a fucking mouth piece! It was actually pretty cool to have the flag on there, I liked it and I don't like grills. I liked the idea of it but found it tacky, still in all it's his personality and I like that he showed it. But of course, he's trying to be black because no one black can possibly have swag! (SWAG ugh WTF is that word, sounds like something a shooter would say in a Western flick after spitting his tabacca out. . "You wanna have a swag wit me boy?" *spit* *raises revolver* *SHOOTS* The point is, GET OVER IT!! He's cute, he swims, he's a playboy, he's a douche, he's white not trying to be anything but his own person. . .and? what/who the hell are you? Serena. . Serena...Serena. . . .Bottom line is the dance is NOT a big deal! Who in the HELL said that she could not dance? HUH? who? and the Crip Walk? I live in MN and it has no calling to my knowledge but I guess it is the Crip Walk and I guess now she reps for all Crips on the corner yo! FOH Had she pu$$y popped on a headstand would she be repping for all the strippers? Had she Carltoned her happiness would she have Whitefied her winning and made Black folk mad? Nothing can please YOU people! (and by "YOU PEOPLE" I mean all idiots, of all ethnicities.)OOH so fucking what the posh tennis society of stuffy ass English women did not like her display of happiness! Was she supposed to hike her skirt, cross her legs and fucking curtsey!? Who says that being an Olympian means losing personality? Oh and I love those head strong black folk coming out the wood work saying "she shouldn't have done it" and "if you never grew up around gangs and saw the violence you don't understand" oh and my favorite. . ."she's giving black women a bad name" NO BISH she's not giving me a bad name. A mother naming her child Starkeesia or Apple is giving out bad names but that's another issue of opinion! I grew up in the hood and I don't see how her dance had any effect on my upbringing nor did I have a flash back of the infamous porch shooting of 91 and start scratching myself, pulling my hair out and channeling Ray-Ray's spirit. I smiled, said WHOOT, go girl and continued doing nothing Olympic-like with my life! What about you? oh right you so STRONGLY voiced your opinions (as you have the right too; HELLS YEA BORs)behind your computer. .at home, behind your computer, like me, at home, behind my computer! See a pattern. . .we are nobodies! Every day joes making everyday moments so cut the bullshit and win a medal or shut the fuck up! The one that tugs at my twists like that penis pump in Magic Mike on the meat is Oscar Pistorius, the AMAZING double amputee Olympian! yea ppl had shit to say about him. . .you know what they said? That he gives off an unfair advantage! A man with no full legs like all the other runners, gives those with legs an unfair advantage. Soak that in real quick and I will repeat for the tight weave wearers in laymen's terms. They are saying that runners with both FULL legs who has the advantage to use all the muscles of their FULL legs is unfairly matched up against a HERO (in my eyes) with carbon fiber hockey sticks for legs who has to use more muscles to control his movements, who has to focus more as to not fall, trip or hurt himself (all my assumptions) and had to train harder not only to learn how to WALK WITHOUT LEGS but run still without legs (in a sense). . .now how is this an unfair advantage? ....Because the matter is so obviously fucking stupid, I won't continue any further but to say OSCAR I admire you. You have given every soldier or amputee'd human being the hope that nothing is out of reach if you want it. You don't have to be an American for me to say you Make me Proud, Proud to be a human being witnessing equality amongst everyone with varying degrees of physical differences. You do not have to win a single medal (but I hope you do) for me to salute you, for me to forever have you as a Hero in my heart. . .BRAVO Sir!! Hats off to you! Kick those whiny selfish bastards asses!! You internet E-Thugs expect everyone to be who you want them to be or who the media says they are and when they aren't, you bash them. You internet E-Thugs are so disloyal, so bandwagonish that it hurts my kinky twists! I see why only 1% of America are the wealthiest, because they feed off of seaweed ass munchers like you ("you" as in the E-Thug. . for the slow ones *loosen your weave cap and metrosexual polo boo*) I have become so disconnected with the outside media world, to an extent, hence the BLOG, ha! ( I might get Hypocrite tattooed on my inner middle finger) I sit on twitter when I am bored and out of school til classes resume and fuck with people about their tweets of ignorance. I find it fun, even call it a sport if you will for which in 2032 I will get the Gold for best Twittering. . .HA it's a goal, fuckers! Seriously though, all bullshit aside. All I see is ignorance, hatred and separation! It's disgusting. I loved the Olympics for bringing nations together regardless of conflicts, to celebrate one thing; SPORTS!! And over the years all I continue to see is a downgrade. A downgrade in journalism. . .media attention. . .supporters. . . .people. If the Olympics ever had a sport for being the biggest disappoint ever, there would be a lot of Gold Medals going out. I am by no means perfect, but I do have a heart. I do wish for the impossible, LOVE amongst all. I am a dreamer of a time to never come. CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERY OLYMPIAN!! YOU ARE ALL WINNERS IN MY BOOK! I CANNOT, WILL NOT AND DO NOT PLAN ON BEING ATHLETIC EVER, I ONLY LIKE TO WATCH SPORTS AND IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO MAKE WATCHING SOMETHING LIKE HANDBALL EXCITING!! KUDOS TO YOU ALL. . .and May The Odds Forever Be In Your Favor.

The Death of The World's IDOL: THE KING OF MUSIC

“MICAHEL JACKSON” When u hear the name you already know who it is, no second thoughts about it. You automatically think of “THRILLER” and his signature Moon Walk dance and red leather jacket, white gloves, socks and high watered black pants! That was Michael Jackson…There was more to him but that was what you thought of instantly!

I remember listening to him as a kid, doing the THRILLER dance and being mesmerized by his videos which was more than a video, it was a mini adventure with him dancing and sliding across the stage and showing you why he was the best of all times and now that's over, partially. We can never forget the imprint he left on us but it will never be the same knowing he isn't here physically with us anymore. I say "WITH US" as if he was literally a friend to us all personally....and he was. For 20 years I have watched him dominate the screen and touch the lives of many including my own, so in my heart he was a friend, To all of us, he was a World-Wide Friend to any and everyone who loved him.







Watching the coverage of the media saying he was or wasn’t dead made my stomach literally hurt, I could have puked! Even as I sit listening to his music as I write this, I am in and out of tears wondering why? Farrah Fawcett passed this morning, she was an icon too! We don’t sport flips in our hair for nothing ladies, she started that and now she and MICHAEL are gone! She showed her strength with her battle with cancer and I admire her for fighting as hard as she did. The Original Angel will be forever missed but always rememebered.







He may have had his legal and personal issues but no one can ever deny that Michael Jackson was not their idol! They can’t deny that! The dances people do today derived from Michael Jackson, he created that, he created making a video more than just a video, he created a LEGACY! So much can be said about him and what he brought to music. I was so excited to hear that he was back and making music again. There has never been a song of his that I did not like, everything he made was excellent music and now at the young age of 50, all of that is gone! His music will forever live on but the fact that he is no longer alive makes it hard to take in.



As I sit here crying, my friend doesn’t understand why I'm crying and I don’t understand why she isn’t. He meant more than music to me, of course I didn’t know him personally but how many can say that they did except his friends and family, however that doesn’t erase the impact he had on my life or any other true fans life. His music reached me on many levels. The sadness in his songs, the anger the need of wanting to be loved; all of that was something everyone could relate to. The man embodied all of what a performer dreams to possess. His talent was immaculate and undeniably the best there ever was. Losing him is like losing a piece of culture, a true piece of musical history that we can never replace. Many can and have tried to embody what Michael possessed and none have succeeded in replicating his perfected methods of performing, his lyrics, his visual presence, nothing. When you see a leather bomber jacket and zippers, who do you think of? MICHAEL JACKSON! A Glittered Glove? MICHAEL JACKSON! THE MOONWALK....Nuff Said!





I stopped writing this blog for a minute. Went about my day, mourning our icon, reading material on the web, watching the news and as I sit here at 11:13pm I am in more shock than I was before. I really don’t believe he is gone, it’s like a mean prank that the media is pulling. It hurts so much inside of me and it makes me feel weird because this is someone I have never met, yet he has my heart filled with so much emotion. I don’t even want to cry because I feel as if I don’t know how to right now. I listened to his music and started crying so hard I couldn't believe how hard I was crying.
I watched Jesse Jackson on TV say how he was amazed how people who disowned Michael for the past ten years are now mourning and praising him since he’s gone. I can see that happening, I can see the high praises from a country who disowned him every since his 1st trail when all that mess started. I can tell you that I however never looked down on Michael for any of his legal issues, never. He remained my number 1 favorite artist of all time, next to R. Kelly. I used to joke that my two favorite musicians were crazy but never did I stop listening to them.


Michael was a genius, he was spectacular, just look at the man’s photo’s.

The dances, the clothes, the faces, the monumental poses, that hair! All of that and much more made him an ICON, the biggest human being to perform in this world and leave a memorable experience afterwards.



I never had the pleasure of seeing him live however watching him perform on TV was an experience in itself. I remember how much I adored the “REMEMBER THE TIME” Video or "THRILLER" I was so mesmerized at how it was made and the costumes and characters, it was literally a miniature movie.




One of my favorite songs of his is “YOU ARE NOT ALONE” When that video came on, I was glued to the TV. The softness of it made my heart melt. I also LOVED “SCREAM” with He and Janet. Although some thought the video was crazy I enjoyed it. Seeing him and his sis together was beautiful.
I always thought that when Michael Jackson died, he would be some 80 year old man in his home of natural causes, not a month before I turn 27 from Cardiac Arrest. When you idolize someone, you never expect them to die. It's the same for when Princess Diana Died, I didn't idolize her, I barely knew who she was at that age but when she died I felt sorry for all those who did because in their hearts, they lost a wonderful person that they admired and looked up to. No one ever expects to cry over a celebrity dying because we all say "I didn't know him/her." Michael was not just some celebrity, he was The Celebrity. The main attraction whenever his name was brought up in the media or elsewhere.



What bothers me most is that he died never having the life HE WANTED. He sacrified his privacy, his freedom to be normal, his life to entertain US and for that I appreciate him. He started out as just a child and never had the chance to move past being a STAR, never could just go outside and play in the park, he had to rehearse and practice and rehearse. I don't think there is anyone on this planet who can identify with the stress and pressure he went through being Michael Jackson. It's beyond sad to know he died not living the life he may have wanted to live. I can understand why he sectioned himself off from the rest of the world. Some people are built to withstand pressure and some are not. Some people are built to be in the limelight and deal with all the negativity that comes along with it and some are not. Michael was born to perform but I don't think he was built to deal with the Stardom he created and it's perfectly okay, he didn't know he was going to me who he became! His behavior, however odd it may appeared to be was not odd at all, to me. It was his reaction to everyone else reacting to him. Pressure makes you do things you never thought you would do. He probally created the SELF he wanted to be and for it he was ridiculed and practically banished from this country. No one agrees with him being born a black man and turning himself into some "other person." It was disturbing to see his transformation but not disturbing because of how he appeared but because of what he must have been going through mentally to have to subject himself to such a transformation. How do you change so drastcially and not look at yourself and hurt? Some say Michael distanced himself from being black but I disagree, I feel he distanced himself from Himself, Michael Jackson.No one will ever know what he went through mentally but we can't deny that he went through some rough shit, mentally & physically and what's amazing about all of what he went through is that he never stopped giving US music. He never stopped entertaining, the man got better and better each time he was on a stage and yet his personality became stranger and stranger as well and that proves that he was as strong of a person as anyone I have ever witnessed. He put himself aside to fullfill the needs of billions of people whom he had not known personally and that is why he is a LEGEND. That is how he built his LEGACY and why he will forever be remembered as the KING OF MUSIC.

What's even more disturbing than his untimely death is all the negative media coverage. Of course when a high profiled celebrity dies, they pull out all of their negative issues. They did so with Heath Ledger, David Carridine, Anna Nicole, Marilyn Monroe, James Brown even Farrah Fawcett to name a few, no one is spared but when will it end? When a regular person dies, you don't go on tv talking up all of their dirt, you bury them, you mourn them and you live on. In this world a celebrity has to live a perfect life because they know when they die nothing but negativity will be spun afterwards and that's some sad shit. Michael did some questionable things, the molestation charges were a crock (I don't care what anyone says they were false) all the lies.....it's in the past but not now! Not while he is still cold on a slab, it's fresh news to post online and on videos and all over TV. It has even sparked some racial slander. People saying "F Him, he wasn't black anyways", "He liked children, good he's dead" and etc. It's hard to believe that people can hate someone they never met so vividly, so much so that they would disgrace their death. No human deserves to be disrespected like that. Not even murderers, none. The only one to judge is GOD himself.

There is the talk of whether or not those kids are his. Does it matter? Angelina has a lil black baby, so does Madonna, Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman, so why can't he have his children? Why does it matter about blood. Those kids were raised by their father whom they knew as DAD and we knew as MICHAEL JACKSON. His lineage should not be questioned with those kids. If we loved Michael the way we claim then we have a duty to love his children and respect their father's LEGACY. They never got a chance to see the most talented entertainer ever, their dad, perform and that's just sad. He wanted them to see him in action, to witness why everyone was so crazy about Michael Jackson. Can You imagine him sitting there showing them videos of his ART. Teaching them the moonwalk and all the old dance moves, can you imagine how lucky those kids were to be that close to that musical genious? He loved his kids and it showed, whether he gave his man swimmers or not, those ARE his kids and there should be no question about it.




I watched a clip of the BET awards that was on last night and I must say I was highly disappointed in Jamie Foxx for saying, "He belonged to us. He belonged to us and we shared him with every one else." What kind of shit is that to say? He was loved by this entire World and he belonged to no one. The man was still a human being and it sucks that people are not treating him like that in death. Of course he was black, we all know it, his fans know it so no need to put that out there. He may have died with light skin and straight hair on the outside but on the inside he died a darkskinned, big-nosed, afro'd human being. Michael could have turned himself green and still been loved for the TALENT he possessed. We have to stop thinking that celebrities are not human beings like us. They have flaws, they make mistakes and it's okay if they do because as humans we all are experiencing this life together with it's ups and down's. Michael Jackson was a human being, one of the most well-known of my lifetime but still a human being and he should not be ridiculed for his wrong doings. No one told anyone to put him on a throne and just because he was on one didn't mean he was perfect, he was a genious at performing and entertaining a WORLD but never perfect. Let's remember him for what he gave us. Amazing videos, Amazing Dance moves (THE MOONWALK), the freedom to be different, the glittered gloved, the "OK" for men to wear a Jerry Curl and still be sexy, The classic songs and albums, the Concerts, the raw entertainment which is his LEGACY. Let's remember him for that and nothing else. He said it himself that he just wanted to be loved, so let's love him like he gave love to his fans.


Rest In Peace Michael Joseph Jackson~ Your Legacy is one that will never be forgotten!

Pretty Wings

Maxwell's Song (Pretty Wings) is pure beauty from a man's heart written onto paper, turned into music. I first heard this song just yesterday ( I know I'm late but for good reason). I don't listen to the radio much so when I hear new music it's usually through a friend who has it on a bootlegged CD of some kind or surfing the net. I was sitting in my friends car as she drove myself and my son home. This song came on, she said it was her Shit so she turned it up. I listened and asked who it was, after the first verse I knew I loved this song. When she said it was Maxwell I was excited to know that he was back (then realized I missed his concert here in Nov...ugh)! As Soon as I got home I downloaded the song and listened to it over and over again just feeling the power this song held for me. To hear a song of a man ADMITTING that someone else could be loving you better than him was just a beautiful pain. Nowadays, men; R&B singers don't sing about whats real in their heart anymore. It's all that new age R&B "Shorty this and Shorty that" Mostly all of that teenage love crap!

I agree that there are still few who sing songs about loving women such as Tyrese or Trey Songz to name a couple. But rarely do you hear a man cry (Like Lennie Williams) Anymore. Not that all a man should do on an R&B song is cry, but I think you know what I mean! I read the lyrics of this song and one part that js touches me is when he says : "I SHOULD HAVE SHOWED YOU, BETTER NIGHTS, BETTER TIMES, BETTER DAYS, NOW I MISS YOU MORE AND MORE" That sentence there was the best that could be said, easily explained. Men often do not realize the bullshit they put us through. The little things that would make us happy, like just being BETTER. Like he also said: "I TURNED DAY INTO NIGHT" That was such a big point made in a small sentence. All we want is to be loved, to have love and a man who will do his best to make sure we make the best out of each other. Not someone who will take our SUNSHINE in their hands and crush all light we have in our heart only to keep us stuck in their evil world of something they call love. I have felt this all too much
the need of a man to condstantly say he loves you but does nothing to prove his words. This song may be just a simple song by a talented artist but I read into it more because I know of HIM...this man who will apologize: " I CAME WRONG, YOU WERE RIGHT, TRANSFORMED YOUR LOVE INTO LIGHT, BABY BELIEVE ME, I'M SORRY I TOLD YOU LIES" Well now...that sounds familiar. I remember an ex who told me that I shouldn't love him, that he wish I didn't love him because he couldn't give me the love I wanted and someone else deserves to love me better. And when Maxwell said: "LET LOVE SET YOU, FREE TO FLY YOUR PRETTY WINGS" I CRIED. I have heard that and didn't want to but in reality by leaving me, he was doing what was best for us both! A HEART can be broken many times......and fixed just as many times as it was broken. The pain of it all is the healing process, the scars one love will leave behind and the scars the rest will overlap. No matter who hears this song, Man or Woman, someone will connect to it and compare its meaning to the meaning of love won or lost in their hearts.

I'm not a compassionate person....however my excuse is I have never had campassion towards me so one cannot feel what they cannot see or have not witnessed. The lyric: "BUT I WILL NOT SEE WHAT I CANNOT HAVE FOREVER" SAYS IT ALL. If you are unfamiliar with love, or loves counterparts then how will you know what it is when it comes your way? I think I had love once, I think he was love to me but a Frozen Heart Can't feel Warmth. In the "relationships" I have had there are none that I regret. Each one, no matter how long or extremely short it was (such as a One night stand) taught me something. They have shown me what is good, what is bad, what was wasted, what could have been and what should not have been. Lessons I can never forget. Yet When and Where will love come? When Will men quit sayin "I should have showed you this and that and now I miss you more and more?" It's always when you've parted ways that you realize what you had. As one of my followers on twitter (@MissMillions) Wrote.."An EX is and EXperience." How true....but how many experiences must we go through in love before we find the one that makes all the EXperience worth it?

As a teen I never dreamed of being married and having a family. I saw my family and there was no way I wanted that. But to see the woman I have grown to be and know the love I have in my heart to give, its dissapointing that I let years go by of not even trying to build a relationship but tear it down! Now maybe it's KARMA or js bad timing that Love is no where near my side, I don't think we even live in the same Country. At Almost 27 years old (in July) I have yet to find someone to come home to. A man who I can love and recieve love. A relationship is overrated I know, it is not great all the time. But what makes life amazing is the Challenges we go through in life. The ups and Downs, the good and the bad and in the end what still remains is LOVE.

There are three songs that make me tear up just hearing them: Tamia's "LOVE", Adele's "FIRST LOVE" and now Maxwell's "PRETTY WINGS" and what sucks is that I was never this way. Never emotional for love. Never had it in my family, never had it in general so it amazes me how I can want something so bad I have never Experienced or even knew exsisted. It may be unheard of to hear someone say they have never experienced love but its true. The only man to ever give me 100% love is my almost 7year old SON. But his love his a mother's love, the greatest love felt, it's different love than the love I seek now. The Ice in me is slowly melting and the Human Being underneath is FINALLY having it's time to live. As the first line of Tamia's song state: "I AM READY FOR LOVE" and yet I think it's too late. I guess it's too much to ask for a lil LOVE so I'll let him "Set me Free, Away from him, To see the way that love can be, When I'm not with him.................And I can be free to fly my Pretty Wings"
(Hmp, I guess)